It was abuse. It was wrong, but it wasn't enough to keep him from the kids if I had left him. So what were my choices?
- Stay and try and make the best of it for my kids, acting as a buffer, telling them what he was doing was wrong and that I was trying to get him to stop
- Leave and accept the courts decisions, which would have almost definitely resulted in his getting some form of regular contact with them
- Leave and take measures to keep him away from them
So what it boiled down to was a choice between staying with him and helping them cope with his violent rages, or leaving him and leaving them to cope with his violent rages alone. For me there was no choice. I stayed until both my daughters were in there late teens and could make their own choices about contact.