survival is not enough

Its just another sop from people who think they understand. As if changing our name from Victim to Survivor will make it all okay.

Well I am a Victim, a Victim of childhood sexual abuse, a Victim of incest and a Victim of domestic violence.

I did not survive these things intact. Calling my a Survivor makes me sound noble. It ignores the blood that runs in the gutters, the blood of the children who died, the blood of the wifes and girlfriends who died. It ignores the silent screams of the souls locked in the torment of mental and psychological disintigration. It buys into the idea that surviving abuse makes people stronger.

Abuse didn't make me stronger. It wrecked my immune system. I have two separate chronic neurological conditions. I walk with a cane. I'm afraid of the dark. I cant sleep at night.

People talk of empowering victims to become survivors. But that is not enough. Survival is not enough. Being a victim is not wrong. Moving from being a victim to being a survivor is not progress. I will always be a victim and yes I will always be a survivor in the strict dictionary definition of the word. I didn't die from the abuse, I survived it, but that doesn't define me any more than being a Victim of abuse does. I'm a Victim and a Survivor and I'm angry and I want more. Survivalk is not enough.